Help Her.

Delicately Anguished is a series not only about the illusion of photography, but one regarding mental illness. Specifically, it tells the story of a young woman who is finding it difficult to continue to live a regular life during quarantine while also handling her mental illness. In the photographs, the girl is not only anchored to one place but she’s also anchored within herself, not allowing herself to indulge in any sort of emotional connection to the place she’s stuck in. Playing with how much information I reveal through exposure and also experimenting with double exposure, the work portrays a situation in which she may or may not be trapped within the four walls of this bathroom. How long has she been in her bathtub? How long has she been looking at her reflection? Is she really even in the bathroom? There is a sense that nobody can help her and she can’t help herself. She is completely confined within the four corners of her mind and the title suggests the fragility and vulnerability of this state. 

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Support Her.

During my time stuck at home in NYC, I found myself being trapped in my own mind. I have suffered from depression throughout many years and during this quarantine, I found that it was easier for it to creep back into my life. We have had a long road of ups and downs, so I would like to think that this girl is me. I think mental illness is not something that people really thought about during quarantine but I can imagine how many people are stuck with their own thoughts during this time, and that is what these photographs embody for me.

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My work consists of two photographic influences, Martin Parr and Ralph Gibson. I learned to search for the extraordinary in the ordinary by looking at various amounts of their work. As a street photographer, Martin Parr is unique in that he creates close-up illusions within normal activities and places. He sets up a situation where the viewer can come up with a story of their own. In the same sense, Ralph Gibson takes pictures of ordinary objects and makes them bizarre and mysterious through his strong use of contrast and light. Through looking at both of this photographer’s work, I learned that photography is not about portraying a reality but proposing questions of what reality actually is. Photography doesn’t give the right answer, because there are no right answers.

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EASE HER.

Using film, not digital, creates a sense of letting go, not knowing, and allows more experimentation. Many of my photos turned out to be exposed more than once so, in reality, they may have two or three pictures layered over the original picture. In film photography, double exposures are made by exposing the same portion of film twice, resulting in the second image being superimposed on the first. I admit that this was totally by accident, but a moment of alchemy that I began to appreciate. Through studying and observing fine art photography, studying the master photographers of the past, and through my own experimentation, I’ve learned that photography can create and reveal the uncanny in the ordinary.  It is a tool for storytelling but uses a language that will only reveal more questions than answers of the human condition.  Being behind the camera allows me to see the world in a new light. It can mesh a physical and mental space. This became even clearer for me as I looked through the camera during quarantine in my own private and quiet personal space.   

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